Let’s talk about trust, baby. (Sung Salt-N-Pepper style.)

When I was learning marketing, an early mentor said that trust is one of the most valuable currencies a business can have.

And I agree.

Then he went into great detail about how to build trust.

There were a lot of gems in what he shared. But some of it didn’t quite stick for me.

And then as I was trying to work out what didn’t make sense… he also shared a piece of advice that he paraphrased from Dan Kennedy, and it stuck like Velcro…

“We don’t sell to Virgins.” Meaning that people have been sold to so many times that we don’t start at zero… so we can be at a negative number before we even begin selling.

And depending on the profession or industry you’re in… that negative number can be super low.

As a quick side note, years ago, a survey was conducted that showed people trusted workers in the “world’s oldest profession” (the spam checker won’t let me write any of the proper names here… so please read between the lines) … more than they trusted Real Estate Agents.

Ouch!

But there are many ways to look at something, and although I saw what other people saw… I also noticed that people “distrusted” Real Estate Agents more than almost everyone else.

That’s important to note. And I’ll share why in a moment. Because to make it make sense… I need to share one more thing with you.

Recently, a friend and mentor, Alen Sultanic, said, “Trust has no point of origin.” (I’m paraphrasing him here.) And it made me think.

There was something that didn’t quite hit right for me. So, I dove deeper into what didn’t quite fit.

And what I realized is… the reason trust doesn’t have a point of origin is because we are born with it.

Think about it… human babies have to trust everything around them.

If they didn’t, they would die very quickly.

Human babies are totally vulnerable and rely on everyone around them to protect and feed them.

But if you saw the world through a baby’s eyes… everything pushes up against their natural trust.

How they are bathed, fed, and comforted must feel foreign to them. Somehow though, they still trust the people around them so they can survive.

BUT… (and it’s a huge B.U.T.)

What they are taught very quickly is “distrust.”

The mouth that opens eagerly for food… will close just as quickly and tightly for something they don’t want to eat. This is due to distrust.

But how did they learn to distrust the food being fed to them?

They learned it when someone put food they didn’t like in their open and trusting mouth.

And this is one of the millions of scenarios we all experience as babies and infants that teach us… and reinforce distrust.

So, although Alen is 100% correct that trust has no point of origin… distrust has many points of origin.

And as copywriters, marketers, and business owners… this is critical for us to know.

Because maybe instead of trying so hard to build trust… perhaps we need to deconstruct, defuse, or disarm distrust instead.

Think about the baby I mentioned earlier… they trusted that every time they opened their mouth, they would be fed.

But as soon as that trust was broken, distrust took over, and… well, if you’ve ever tried to feed a child who doesn’t trust you, you’d know… it isn’t easy to earn that trust back.

That’s why I say maybe trying to build trust isn’t the best way to do it.

Because trying to build trust upon the shaky foundations of distrust… is difficult to do.

That’s because distrust is a highly emotional state. And it’s backed up by irrefutable proof and lived experience.

So, when you try to build trust… you’re essentially trying to go against a closely guarded belief system.

And if you don’t handle things right… it’s a lot like trying to push diarrhea uphill! You’ll end up with crap everywhere… mostly all over yourself.

But what makes the situation worse is… often, the crap isn’t even yours in the first place.

This is why it’s important to remember…

Knowledge Nugget #416:
Trust Is Earned… But So Is Distrust!

Although you may not have caused the distrust… you are the one who is left to deal with it.

Especially if you want to offer or sell the person something.

The person is often left hurt, skeptical, or burned by the person/ people before you. So, trust is a difficult thing to build.

But distrust can be defused.

You just need to acknowledge the reason it’s there.

When I was a nurse, I often came across patients who absolutely hated needles. And most of the time, it was for good reason.

Often their stories included either being forcibly held down… being tricked, lied to, and jabbed… or feeling that they had no control over what happened to them.

So those traumatic experiences made them distrust any medical person who needed to give them a needle.

Obviously, it made doing my job a lot harder than it needed to be.

But rather than try to build trust on shaky foundations… I found ways to empower them, and that disarmed their distrust.

One way to overcome distrust is to show people you’re different instead of telling them.

This is copywriting 101… but it applies to life in general.

The more you try to build trust by telling people how different you are… the less they believe you.

So, when I had to give an injection to a person who was terrified of needles… I was honest and respectful of their distrust. And I certainly didn’t try to minimize it or make fun of it.
(Who am I to say a person’s fear and distrust aren’t real? It’s arrogant and self-absorbed!)

What I did was totally counterintuitive.

I’d actually tell them that the injection would probably hurt because there is no pre-made hole to put the needle into. But I assured them I would do my best to make it as comfortable as possible.

(Often they didn’t even feel the injection and were surprised that it didn’t even hurt.)

That was in stark contrast to other people who would say, “It won’t hurt,” or “It’s just a little prick,” … or any other misleading and distrust-building phrase they could come up with.

Because those things only perpetuated a cycle of distrust.

Something I’ve watched over the years is people who try to use their words (by using NLP or other tricks) to build rapport and trust… but their actions actually reinforce distrust.

And… it doesn’t take a genius to know that distrust has the strongest aftertaste.

That’s why I work on getting rid of distrust in my copy, in my marketing… and in life in general.

Until next week, stay awesome and be true to yourself  : )

Pauline x x x

Pauline Longdon
a.k.a. “The Copy Alchemist”

P.S.  I think it’s a natural desire for people to trust others, which is why many of us like to see the good in people. But obviously, this can lead to situations where people are taken advantage of.

It sucks when that happens… because most people start to default to distrust. And that can severely limit their life experience.

P.P.S.  Do you know what profession tops the list of the most trustworthy professions? A Gallup poll ranked 15 professions and found that Nurses were top of the list, followed by doctors and then pharmacists. The least trustworthy are salespeople, followed by politicians, and advertising practitioners were at the bottom.

The fact that only 15 professions ranked seems to limit the results. But they still give us a great guide of who’s who in the trust zoo.

And it makes Dan Kennedy’s simple advice even more profound… and helpful.

P.P.P.S.  Did you know that today’s Knowledge Nugget is the end of my 8th year of sending these out each week? (I still haven’t missed a week.) I often wonder when I will eventually stop writing them.

A little while ago, I did think about stopping them at the end of 8 years because it would make the Knowledge Nugget book series neater that way. But now I’m at that point… I think I might keep going for a bit longer. Should I keep going?