Ah, those infamous words by Lindy Chamberlain. And in her case, a dingo tragically stole her baby.

But those words (minus the baby part) are strangely relevant to the darker side of success. I’ll get to the “dingo” bit in a moment.

So, who knew that success came with a darker side?

The late great Gary Halbert spoke of it. But he referred to the keeping your own ego in check.

Gary was ridiculously successful, and he flaunted it. And it caused him and his wife to be robbed at gun point in the garage of his home, while his kids were inside the house.

The story terrified me… so I vowed to learn from Gary’s mistake, not my own.

But there’s another facet of the darker side of success that I haven’t seen anyone talk about. And I’ve also learned a lot from it.

I’ve wanted to talk about this for a long time, but I feared that people would just think I’m whining, ungrateful and flashing my “success privilege” in their face. In other words… Being a Diva!

So, I have waited a long time to find the right words and hopefully convey the message… without looking like a whinger. (And I wanted to take a little time to get an objective look and to see if it was only happening to me… and it’s not!)

Besides, I much prefer being a winner than a whiner!

The purpose of my mini “Jerry Maguire” moment is to increase the awareness on both sides of this uncomfortable and unnecessary situation.

Now, as an Australian, I totally expect to be subjected to the “Tall Poppy” treatment.

For those unfamiliar with this phenomenon, it’s where successful people who dare to do better than those around them… are cut down by those around them.

Apparently, the reason this is ingrained so deeply into the Australian way of life is because it comes from our convict past.

Hundreds of years ago, people in Britain decided that Australia would be a great place to dump their convicts. So, they sent out ships full of convicts and a few guards to start up a penal settlement.

To control the convicts that outnumbered them, the guards worked out an ingenious way to keep them in check. If a convict escaped and was recaptured, they would receive a punishment… but it was nothing in comparison to the punishment of their friends and peers (the group).

As you can imagine, the group quickly became hostile towards anyone with a plan to escape and dealt out their own “peer justice” to avoid punishment. Often before they had a chance to escape.

This horrid tradition continues to be played out to this day… although there is no threat of punishment. However, these days it has kind of become a sick “sport.”

People actually cheer and celebrate when the “Tall Poppies” fall… even when it costs them their jobs (in the case of the ABC Learning collapse and Starbucks dramatic downsizing here in Australia).

As you can see, this disgusting practice is part of the Australian way of life. So, the “Tall Poppy” attacks were to be expected and they never surprised me.

Something that continually surprises me though is the attacks from the top down. People who are supposedly secure in themselves and their position… attack and try to discredit the next generation.

I experienced this kind of behaviour when I was a nurse.

In nursing it’s called “Eating Your Young.” The more experienced nurses would ruthlessly bully and degrade the newer nurses until they were worn down and quit out of sheer frustration.

These old cows took great pleasure in their reign of terror. And they couldn’t wait for the next batch of victims to be unleashed on the ward.

And as much as I thought I left that world behind in my nursing days… unfortunately, it seems we have these people in copywriting and marketing too!

Sadly, even if these people have never met you… they still seem to have a lot to say about you. And because of the nature of this business… they say it into the influential ears of their peers.

And because we are all gifted with our words, a compelling story is woven… and bullshit is believed!

Careers and people’s futures are destroyed with one careless whisper.

I have always wondered why someone at the top of their game would even bother to worry about the new cohort coming up behind them.

And it’s painfully obvious, so I’m not going to sugar coat it… they see them as a threat!

But the reality is…

Knowledge Nugget #160: The Only Threat Or Enemy Is The One You Create In Your Mind 

Our mindset is an amazing asset that will give us success… or it’s a powerful weapon set on self-destruct!

This is why it’s important to use it wisely, and not waste time creating enemies and threats that don’t exist outside of your own mind.

Now even when threats are “real” … it’s how we deal with them that makes the difference.

I grew up in rural New South Wales, right in the middle of Funnel Web spider country. If you don’t know, this little treasure is one of the deadliest spiders in the world. And our yard was full of them (and a ton of other killing things).

But do you want to know something interesting?

No one in my family was ever bitten by a Funnel Web spider or anything deadly for that matter. They were never a threat to us because we respected them, and they were free to live their happy little spider lives.

So, although these super deadly spiders lived all around us… we never saw them as a threat. And they weren’t.

Here’s another example…

Have you ever noticed how some people hate pit bulls, while other people love them?

These dogs get such a bad rap. They look dangerous, and have powerful jaws… but in my experience, they are the happiest dogs on the planet (if treated well).

But these dogs are labelled as a threat and a dangerous breed. And they are banned in many places. All because someone created a threat or an enemy in their mind.

And the same thing happens to ambitious, conscientious copywriters.

When someone like me tries to help or get to know these “threat magnets” … it’s like a scene from an old Western.

Women drag their children by their arms indoors to safety. Men in the saloon stare at the swinging doors with their itchy trigger finger on their pistol. And we are greeted by a suspicious Sheriff who wants to know what people like us are doing around these parts.

And even if we are travelling out on the open plains, any wagon train “led” by these nervous “threat inventors” will circle the wagons and ensure that you stay as an outsider.

It’s happened to me… and unfortunately, it’s happening to many of my friends as well.

This is a darker side of success that people don’t know about and many refuse to see.

In fact, many of the perpetrators will try to “gaslight” you and tell you that it’s all in your head… meanwhile they push their unqualified, “no threat” alternative, into the job you’re perfectly qualified for. (Sounds cynical and super bitchy… it sure is and I make no apology. Because they are not doing the client and our profession any favours!)

The fact is, there are no winners in this dark side of the game.

If only people could see beyond their self-constructed enemies and threats… it would be a totally different story!

Instead of thinking I stole their place on Parris’ Copy Cub training (“A dingo stole my Copy Cub spot!”) … they could make friends with us current cubs, and we’d help them get on the next training if Parris has one.

Or, instead of working against me (“A dingo tried to steal my client”) … we could work together and craft a win for them, a win for the client and a win for me.

Or, rather than selecting under qualified non-threatening people as speakers or collaborators for events (“A dingo stole my speaking career!”) … we could join forces to ensure the attendees have a great experience and get the best information they can.

The fact is, there are not many people who have been trained by the people I have been trained by in the US, much less Australia! So, when I am told that people doubt my skills for a basic project… I know that’s not the truth.

The truth is… they doubt theirs.

And when I’m told that I can’t speak from the stage because of my Australian accent (like it’s a disability or something! Haven’t they heard of James Schramko, Ed Dale and all the Australian actors who have invaded Hollywood?) … I call B.S!

The fact is, I am a trained speaker and have sold from the stage (at one event, I sold 53% of the room) … so their excuses are just ridiculous!

So, here’s my solution. If other people want to try to block me or keep me off their platforms… then I’m going to take the advice of one of my friends, Bond Halbert.

He told me that when people won’t let you on their platform… create your own. Which is why I am launching a Podcast with Rae called “Breaking Through The B.S… of Business, Money and Mindset.”

Now, I’m not going to lie, B.S. does stand for “bullshit” … but it also stands for “belief systems.”

This is important to know because, if our belief systems are dysfunctional, so is our mindset.

When you have a healthy mindset, you are too busy living your own awesome life to even think that anyone is a threat or an enemy. Those kinds of thoughts are just a waste of time!

So, if you have ever thought that someone was a threat to you or your enemy… reclaim your power and energy back. You are investing them in something you will never get a return on.

And if you are the one being blocked by the circled wagons… leave them and keep on going until you find where you belong or create it.

If you’re an outsider… chances are there are many others like you. And they are probably having the same trouble fitting in. So, create something with them, or for them.

The best thing you can do is to put your energy into a positive solution and outcome to the situation.

You’ll win at the game of life when you do.

Until next week… take care and be the winner you truly are : )

Pauline xxx

Pauline Longdon
a.k.a. “The Copy Alchemist”

P.S. Humans are hard wired to want to belong. Which is why it’s hard to be an outsider. The funny thing I’ve seen about people who say it’s ok to be an outsider… they aren’t actually true outsiders. They usually just don’t belong to the groups they want to belong to.

Real outsiders don’t often wear their outsider status like a badge of honor.

P.P.S. I thought the Aussie accent thing was hilarious! I fully intend to use all of my accents on our Podcast. I have my dingo lingo, my regular Aussie, Hollywood Aussie, Faux-Merican and Southern Something accents ready to go. This is going to be fun.

We launch in October… I’ll keep you posted (or you can like our new Facebook page at: Breaking Through The BS).

P.P.P.S. I know this email will probably upset a few people and although that’s not my intention… it’s the reality. But I stand by my observation and message. I am committed to helping the cohort and generations coming up behind me, to grow beyond me. That’s what true leaders do.